pretty damn sad

you what's pretty pathetic??? not hearing from any of my friends over the break. out of all my friends and bestfriends and friends only one person has really talked to me and that's daniel. i sent people text they replied. but after that i havent heard from them and that was like days ago. so whatever. friends really piss me off. fuck.

Update on Life

relationship is goin very very well. me and my best friends. still iffy as usual. i already lost about maybe 3. we faded. i'm not gonna work to get it back. I have come to the conclusion that my relationship with my best friends will always be somewhat iffy due to my paranoia. i always think one small thing could change something in a big way. i can't help it. i just cope with it. any help would be greatly appreciated but other than that life is goin alright. i back bloggin so expect more. especially this up coming week. thanksgiving break :)

Relationship

New relationship, new possibilities. she really feels for me and i do her. she is looking for a steady relationship. so am i. please pray this to work especially those who know me best

Repeition

Do you know what sucks???? gettin mad at the same stuff all the time. it's time to move on and drop people. i've got a feeling i will be a couple bestfriends short before the break, but i don't care anymore. im tired of getting angry b/c of things they do. time to move on. i've been negative and angry lately. maybe this can turn that around

what to do

i guess im lost. i honestly don't know who i consider friends now. im trying to be optimistic but its hard. she is still in the back of my head. i have horrible timing. i want to be mad at her and hate her for it but i only feel that way because i'm somewhat hurt. idk if we'll ever be together but that's not what my focus is on. on the bright side the other chick i don't have feelings for now. she's honestly just another cute girl that will just be cute and no more than that. i also find that alot of my bestfriends are pissing me off which means it may be time to evaluate my friendship with them and weed out the bad ones.....again. i just really wan to go up their face and say fuck you.

Life

is goin prettty good. i got all the people i want in my life and droppped those i dont want in my life. bein and staying a bestfriend is hardwork. there are problems with goin on wiht my bestfriends. i guess not rea major but still problems. then there are bestfriends i dont agree with on things. but in the end they are worth it. at least some of them. life is good. my bestfriends are here making it better. i am happy.

Bestfriends

over the year my bestfriends have changed but those that never really changed are the ones i care for most.
Chyrstall Brooke Green- OMG. u refuse to give up on me. every problem i have u and Kate are always there.

Kate Lynn McIver- u r so happy all the time. u brighten up my days whenever they are dark. just like Chyrstall u refuse to give up on me.

Kimberley Rachel Terrell- she is amazing. there are things we need to talk about but apart from that she is the shizzz.

Ansley Deanna Kent- Me her and have our issues but she always comes to me when she needs brotherly advice. im so proud of her for being string and not letting those "people" bring her down. i couldnt have had a better lil sister.

Cheyenne Marie Noon- speechless. i dont even know where to start or even end. i love her.

Rebekah Michelle Steiner- we havent talked that much lately but when we do we have the greatest time. couldnt imagine life without her

Andrew Bryce Blanchard- we have never really talked on a serious level. its always jokin and laughing. wouldnt change it for the world.

Corey Costa- My bro. enuff said


these people make life great for me, even when it sucks the most

Meltdown

So yesterday and today i had a meltdown. thanks to some of my bestfriends, i am very slowly recovering from it. i am at an extreme low but im starti to feel my bestfriends will help me reach a high.